This morning I realized that it had been nearly three weeks since I wrote a blog post.  The days have flown by with little time to create anything at all.  But a couple of days ago everything changed.  All of my assumptions about the necessary trajectory of work have flown out the window.  Everything I have planned since the fall has exploded.

On April 5th, I wrote a blog post called The Stench that detailed our situation since I decided to leave my job and take a chance on bringing in substantial income through freelance writing.  I was working on it regularly, following up with prospective clients, working through online tutorials on the subject of locating and closing deals with businesses able to provide excellent pay.  But not only were these pursuits not providing income, but they were also not making me happy.  And When Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy.

But then, quite out of the blue, I took another kind of class.  Not about working for clients, but about securing funding for a game-changing project.

This is the kind of thing that makes:

• loving fathers look at you over the tops of their glasses exclaiming “you want to WHAT???”
• caring friends stop in their tracks and shriek “are you NUTS????”

But it is the kind of thing that made my dear husband say: “Go for it!”

There is too much to be done before showing my hand more completely.  But I have told a bit of this to some people whose judgment I trust who seem to think that I am not rabidly mad or systemically unhinged.  Even those crumbs are cherished by yours truly.

My husband reminds me that despite the pinch of our shoes or the length of our debit-sheets we still have our heads above the water and we haven’t been abandoned yet.  In fact, despite all odds, we continue to see prayers answered, due dates met,  gas in the car and food on the table.

That being said I am stepping out of the boat and not looking at the turbulent water below my feet, but raising my eyes to focus on the One who has carried us this far.  I don’t know how this will all turn out, but I am willing to take a chance because successful completion of this project fulfills a promise I made many years ago.  A cherished dream that I had long sidelined to the pile of maybe someday projects.

Nothing in life is guaranteed.  Life itself isn’t guaranteed.  Sometimes you need to take great risks to accomplish amazing things that just might make a difference.  I believe that this is one of those things.