Afraid of Losing You

You have loved me, comforted me, dried my tears, made me laugh, shared your stories, introduced your friends, and dreamed outlandish dreams with me. We have often talked about the gap in our ages, and I have long known that I might live years without you.

But it was two a.m. this last Saturday night when the pain got so bad that we knew we had to get you to the Emergency Room. The thoughts about life came back into my head — life is uncertain — tomorrow isn’t promised.

We waited, what felt like much too long, but then the nurse took us back and hooked you up to all kinds of monitors. The Doc came in before long to talk to us. They were going to do a myriad of tests to find out what was causing all your pain.

While you were away, I waited alone and thought about my late father’s words. He told me how often his clients had worried out loud whether their spouse that had just died knew how much they had loved them. Dad told me how sad he thought it was that such grief could be possible in marriage.  He went on to say that he couldn’t imagine not telling the people you love that you love them. What a sad event to live through — that someone you love dies — and you never told them, or didn’t tell them recently or often enough, that you loved them.

As I waited alone, not knowing what all was going on, I was thankful that my husband knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I love him with all my heart. He hears it from me many times every day, and I know that he feels the same about me.

Regardless of our hopes, life is uncertain. We mustn’t borrow trouble; it won’t help. So, I say, be of good cheer. Love and trust the Lord.  Love your family.  Say I love you often and show it by your actions. Then, take heed of what the doctor says and go on and enjoy the life you are given.

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5 Responses to Afraid of Losing You

  1. David Rinderknecht says:

    Amen to that.
    There is no certainty to be had regarding the future or what it holds.
    After one’s spouse (or friend or acquaintance) is gone, its too late to let them know what they mean to you.
    I can’t count the number of times Dagmar & I let each other know how much we love, cherish & appreciate each other, every day.

  2. Lester Callif says:

    I hear from my parents all the time about them having no idea how they would live without the other. And it hits home especially when one of their friends gets ill or dies. I hate watching them age, but I will also hate not seeing them age…

    Your Dad, as always, was and still is right.

  3. Nancy says:

    Amen!! And I gather Ron is still able to hear your words of love.

  4. AECRM says:

    Yes, he is still able to hear my words of love — and I have no plans for tapering off!

  5. Jan Seibel says:

    A touching story and beautiful reminder of how short our time is on this earth.
    Your dad was a wise man and his love was evident in his life. Makes me wish
    I could have a heart to heart with him. Praying that Ron is doing well! 💕

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